Crossing The Creek

About The Book

Caregivers frequently express a combination of amazement and relief at how accurately Crossing The Creek describes what they see taking place right before their eyes. Instead of feeling frustrated and confused they are struck with a sense of, "Ah-ha! Whoever wrote this has been in my shoes. Not only that, this actually makes sense!"

No other book on dying process is as sensible, comprehensive, scientifically up-to-date, insightful and above all, hopeful.

What would you want to know if, or rather, when you are dying... or caring for a loved one who is? How about...

What is happening?

Why is it happening?

What should I do... or not do?

Is my experience normal or am I just weird?

Reading this book also helps prevent caregivers from making matters worse through ignorance.

Crossing The Creek provides true understanding. It does not simply tell you that dying people sleep a lot, it explains why. It does not stop with explaining that dying people lose their appetite or may become disoriented, it explains why those things happen... and it does so within the context of accomplishing certain goals.

Yes... dying process is purposeful... it has goals, just like life has goals. And no... life and death are not opposites. Death is a part of life, not life's end. Other guides imply that dying is just some bad stuff that happens shortly before we cease to exist. That is not correct. Dying process prepares us for the next phase of life.

"Ah-ha!" you say, "Your book must be religious in nature, right?"

Nope. Wrong.

Crossing The Creek presumes life goes on (after death) and nothing more. It recognizes spiritual phenomena commonly observed by caregivers but does not interpret those phenomena within the context of any particular religious doctrine. Your personal theology is your business.

Crossing The Creek is consistent with cutting-edge scientific research in the fields of quantum physics and the study of consciousness. Unlike authors of other, so-called guides to dying process, I do not use the term "end of life care." Assuming that physical death "ends life" cannot be proven.

No one can accurately say that death ends life. Some say they do not believe in the concept of life after death because it cannot be proven. Then again, it cannot be disproved either. Spirit is not physical, so attempting to prove its existence or absence through physical experimentation is a fool's errand. Life after death can neither be proved or disproved in the classical (linear, mechanical) scientific sense. Think about it... a thought is not physical either. No one could prove that you are currently having a thought... but you are doubtless aware that you are, right now, as we speak.

Which is precisely the point... "life" is consciousness. "Life" is awareness... and as a matter of fact, we actually do have solid, scientific evidence that consciousness exists outside the limitations of physical bodies... or even outside of the limitations of time and space for that matter. Indeed, quantum physicists say that time and space are manifestations of consciousness. One might accurately assert that death ends bodies... well, sort of. Actually our bodies go back to proverbial dust, which eventually finds its way back into another body. But suffice to say, no one can accurately claim that death ends life. In fact, all the evidence, including direct observations of dying people (not to mention simple common sense) points consistently in the direction that dying process is a transition, not the "end of life."

We are consciousness, not bodies. Scientifically speaking, consciousness creates bodies, not the other way around. Face it, you're stuck with yourself... and probably for eternity.

Which may be sort of scary... in a way. But the most common comment I receive from readers of Crossing The Creek is that it is "comforting."

Understanding is comforting.

While Crossing The Creek covers a lot of territory it is still essentially an emergency manual. For even better understanding read...

Key Elements of Transitions

and

Dying To Know

Book Excerpts

Click on Chapter to view...
Click on its Title to Return here.

Note: This is probably one of the most misunderstood things about dying process and is the cause of a great deal of frustration for caregivers and discomfort for patients. Not being able to get a dying person to eat causes great angst for the living, but eating causes great misery for the dying. This chapter explains why.

Excerpt: Bodies have been going through this for thousands of years and have worked out effective techniques for keeping themselves comfortable. Pay attention to what the body is saying it wants… or does not want.

Note: This section gives a summary of what to expect in terms of bowel activity and what to do about it. It also provides a general description of what is normal and gives advice on when to stop worrying about bowels.

Excerpt: Stool softeners and/or laxatives are generally necessary to maintain regular bowel function, but it should be kept in mind that "regular" or "normal" during the dying process may be considerably less frequent than it was while the patient was healthy and active.

Note: Here you will find a description of how circulation is naturally altered by the dying process, leading to common symptoms or complications. Learn what to look for, how to head off problems before they occur, how to maintain comfort and what not to worry about.

Excerpt: The patient does not necessarily have to be moved far with every turn, just enough to change their pressure points.

Note: This section deals with another subject that, if not properly understood, will likely cause a great deal of unnecessary anxiety for caregivers and discomfort for patients. Breathing patterns typical of different stages in the dying process are also discussed, along with common misunderstandings about those patterns.

Excerpt: The pauses between breaths can be quite long; perhaps half to three-quarters of a minute, sometimes longer. Family and caregivers often find this very unnerving but it seldom is a clear indicator of anything specific... other than the patient is quite ill, which everyone was presumably aware of already.

Note: In this section Crossing The Creek starts getting into some of the more intriguing aspects of the dying process. There is a sleeping pattern typical of the dying process... one might even say diagnostic to some degree. It is also purposeful.

Excerpt: Interestingly, the normal sleeping pattern during the dying process is virtually identical to the normal sleeping pattern of newborns; off & on around the clock.

Note: There is a great deal of confusion about confusion in normal dying process. Some is to be expected and can be minimized by simply knowing what to expect. Some, while alarming to caregivers, may actually be helpful for the patient. And of course some types of confusion are abnormal and need to be treated.

Excerpt: Dying people are not losing their minds, they are struggling to grasp a more comprehensive perspective of reality. They are not disoriented because their perceptual capabilities are being diminished, their perceptual capabilities are, in fact, expanding… which is intrinsically disorienting.

Note: This is the longest section in Crossing The Creek and covers a lot of territory. It is not a discourse on how to treat pain, but rather an exploration of how pain may be perceived or even used by patients in an attempt to cope with dying process itself.

Excerpt: If a patient and family are not aware that confusion regarding time and space are normal for the dying, they may blame it all on the medication(s). Next, both patient and caregiver are inclined to either stop the pain medication(s) entirely or to severely reduce the dose. This seems logical enough in the short run and is done with the best of intentions, but will likely yield a poor result.

Note: This section is short but allays a common misconception that is often the cause for considerable unpleasantness.

Excerpt: Basically patients feel that way because they are losing energy. It is not possible to experience a loss of physical energy and not feel like you are losing energy.

Note: This is another area in which common misunderstandings routinely lead to an unnecessary increase in misery for all concerned; caregivers and patients alike. It discusses what is normal and gives some helpful suggestions.

Excerpt: People who are not currently facing death are often inclined to claim they have no fear (the living are very brave!) Some dying people claim to have no fear of death, but frankly, I have never seen a person facing death who acted unafraid.

Note: Some of what goes on in normal dying process is truly wondrous but can lead to confusion and fear if not properly understood.

Excerpt: Whether we can explain it or not is irrelevant. It happens, and it happens consistently. It is not the prerogative of people who are not yet dying to pass judgment on the validity of the experiences reported by people who are dying.

Note: This section is the heart and soul of Crossing The Creek and underlines its unique way of describing dying process through the eyes of the dying.

Excerpt: As a person moves through the dying process, their statements (if they can be understood) may become increasingly symbolic in nature. This is because what they are experiencing and perceiving has less and less to do with the physical world.

Note: The title of this section is rather self-explanatory. It describes the grief process, pointing out what to expect, what is normal and what might indicate complicated grief.

Excerpt: Interestingly, we are sometimes surprised to discover what a feeling actually feels like. We might wonder what it would feel like to lose a parent. We might think we could anticipate how that would feel, then be entirely shocked by the actual experience. Even professionals who deal with death and dying routinely are astonished at how it feels to experience a personal loss. Anticipating a feeling and feeling a feeling are two very different things.

Yes, the complete version of Crossing The Creek was online at one time, but I have been forced to remove it. To learn why, click here.

Appetite	Respiratory	Pain	Seeing People
Bowels	Sleeping	Energy Loss	Symbology
Circulation	Confusion	Fear	Grief